Dry Humour on the Wet Coast

Maybe 5?

I wasn’t really paying all that much atttention to the news when they were saying when the next season was supposed to start for certain.

So yeah, Doozy and I went to Osoyoos last weekend for short while.

One reason why I like Osoyoos so much is the fact that it looks like it could be the setting of an Clint Eastwood movie. Like one of the old Spaghetti Westerns, something with the Man with No Name.

You could almost hear the pan pipes playing in the distance staring out at Canada’s only true desert.

Not a lot of people know this, but this part of BC is acutally the Northern most point of the Sonora desert chain, with summer temps hanging in the high 30’s.

We weren’t there for very long so make way for the metrics because here’s a quick rundown of our trip by the numbers:

859 – the number of kilometers Doozy drove during that weekend

6 – the type of Mazda we were upgraded to from the rental agency

1 – times Winston barfed in the Car

2 – bears we saw on the side of the road. At the same time as when Winston barfed

12 – hours spent of the road

36 – hours spent actually in Osoyoos

70 – the spf of Doozy’s sunscreen

15 – the spf of my sunscreen

2 – number of shins and feet I managed to burn because I forgot to apply any to my legs

30 – the amount of time in minutes it took Doozy to burn her back on the morning we were leaving

3 – number of kids who wouldn’t leave me along when I was trying to play badminton with my gf

4 – number of tennis balls I managed to send sailing over the fence and across the highway when doozy and I tried to play

3 1/2 – number of steaks I ate at dinner when doozy’s sister and niece couldn’t finish their meat

4 – number of ducks that came up to us at the beach and ate from out hands

1 – number of kids who thought it would be a good idea to take a leak in the hole they dug in the sand and to smell and through sand from said hole

2 – number of bikinis we saw doozy’s mom in. (she’s a grandma!)

2 – number of speedos the german guy at the beach had worn.

4 – number of golf balls found in the water

2 – number of kids who tried to kill the ducks with golf balls

100 -how awesome I looked standing on a surfboard, using a paddle to get around in the water. On a scale of 1 – 10

100 – roughly how much we spent on gas

at least 8 – pieces of homemade beef jerky I ate on the trip home

1 – number of times my glasses broke and number of times doozy fixed them, holding on to her title as best girlfriend in the universe

1 – number of post cards I forgot to get for my friend in japan

When you add it all up it you get 1268.5 or a great trip.